Disciplining vs Anger Management

Last Saturday I experienced a scary incident at a clinic.

I was at the child clinic where I was waiting with my husband for the doctor. Eva was due for her 4th immunization shot. We were 2 patients away when a couple entered the clinic with a boy who I guessed was barely three years old.

The mother, at first glance, was in a bad mood. When she saw her son run around in the clinic, she barked at her husband to “take care of your son, don’t let him run around”, while she laid her plump butt on the cushioned seat.

I tried to pay attention to another family instead of this family, only to find my attention dragged their way again, 10 minutes later. The boy had pooped in his diaper and the mother was assigned the task to clean up.

The incident that ensued was…. horrifying.

Mother and child were at the washroom. The father was walking away from them. The mother was screaming for the father to ‘come back and help me hold your son’. The father continued walking away while the mother cursed under her breath. The boy was struggling to get down from the diaper-changing table. After awhile the father walked back to his and son, bringing a small bag, which I suspect contained some spare clothing for the son.

The mother then moved the son into the toilet to wash up. From inside the toilet, she was screaming at the boy, “Stop moving, wash your butt, wash your butt! I told you to stop squirming around”. The sound of her high-pitch angry voice was mixed with the sounds of her boy crying and shouting. Slapping sounds followed.

Meanwhile, the father was sitting at the sofa just outside the toilet, reading a magazine, acting as if he was waiting for a waiter to bring him a cuppa coffee. I guess he has got used to this type of ‘disciplining’. My husband instinctively brought Eva to the far side of the clinic, away from the commotion as she cries easily from loud noises now, and he flew into the doctor’s office when the nurse called out for Eva’s turn.

After Eva was done, and while we were waiting to pay for the shot, Mrs “I’ve got anger management issues” and her family was in the doctor’s room. Shortly after, the father came out with the son. He was telling his son that “this time it’s not your turn to get a shot, it’s mama’s turn”. The look he gave his son is the type a man who loves children would give.

In that moment, I was silently giving thanks, to whoever is listening, that every child is blessed with two parents, not one. At least when one is psychotic, the other plays the buffer that would help ease the suffering of the child.

There is a thin line between disciplining a child and harming him. One is to teach the child to be a better person. The other is merely to physically harm the child for personal satisfaction.

Before you become a parent, please determine if you are suited to bring up children. If you do not have the patience of an understanding parent, do the rest of us parents a favour and don’t join the club.