Last year, I saw and blogged about a news clip regarding newlyweds who got married and had to go to jail, read it here so you will understand why I am all for the OrphanCARE baby hatch that was just featured in the news a couple of days ago.
The picture of the baby boy who was the first to be placed in the baby hatch was simply beautiful. It was no surprise that in a day or two later, calls were coming in on wishes to adopt the newborn and give it a good home. Best piece of info so far was the fact that the parents were not sure if they want to let the baby get adopted yet. They asked for two weeks to think about it. I think that that is a good sign because at least for this baby, he knows that he is wanted by the people who brought him into this world.
There are many who express hatred and disgust of the centre because of the message they think it supposedly carry. From what I know, OrphanCARE is there to just provide new parents who didn't plan to be parents in the first place an alternate option for their newborn. And the fact that they need not be pushed to a corner and leave the newborn to die.
Reading some of the blogs out there who are of the opinion that the baby hatch is a horrible idea, they think that having a baby hatch would make people be careless about sex, thoughtless about premarital intercourse and think that well, someone's gonna take care of the baby anyways, that's my safety net to go get laid, get pregnant and endure childbirth, right? Well, news for you. They have been doing it before the baby hatch was around. No reason why they should stop just because the centre was set up, and even less of a reason to blame the baby hatch for trying to do what the parents couldn't.
Besides, this kind of logic reasoning can be likened with the idea that knives, pesticide and gas stoves should not be created because it would 'encourage' people to commit suicide. Why? Well, there were people who used those items/ways to kill themselves before, hence the logic fits.
I wouldn't say they are wrong. They must be educated people to be able to blog about it.
But where possible I would like to remind them, that the baby hatch is just about the only thing that is keeping these unwanted and unplanned babies alive. It beats being left in public toilets, or in a black garbage bag at the side of the road, which was the original ways they were 'handled' by clueless teenagers who did one mistake and is making the newborn pay for their mistake.
The law is no help in these cases and one night's 'mistake' will come out full blown 10 months later; there is no hiding. Society at large also frown upon babies being born out of wedlock, at least our society is still holding on to this 'noble' notion. With nowhere to turn to, these kids/young adults have only one option, to get rid of the only proof of their wrongdoing.
With the only baby hatch in Malaysia, at least these newbie parents have a choice of giving the babies a second chance in life; maybe these kids may even be better off with their adoptive parents who really really want to have kids but did not have the natural privilege to have their own. At least, these babies will have a fighting chance against the norms of society, who preferred that they disappear into the background in the name of moral standings and a unsoiled reputation.
Showing posts with label Newborn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Newborn. Show all posts
Jul 1, 2010
Aug 22, 2009
7 emotions you never knew until you're a parent.
For something to be considered a Science, it has to: be backed by evidence; be retestable by others; and all come to the same conclusion. Crud... now that I think of it.. I think that is the definition of a hypothesis.
But.. who cares?
The point I'm driving home today is the evidence of that bond which exist between mother and child.
Love can hardly be called a Science. So many conclusions could come from the same initial point: You may marry him and live happily together forever with him, or You may divorce him within the next three years. You may cheat on him or be cheated on by him and still stick together as a couple "for the sake of the children". You may find out he is a closeted gay. You may tell him that you are a closeted lesbian or bisexual on your 5th wedding anniversary. You may even find him divorcing you to be with your mother (sick I know... but it happens).
So why then do experts insist on mothers breastfeeding their babies to 'strengthen that bond between mother and newborn' hours after she has just given birth?
No, it's not because they are sadistic maniacs.
It's because this bond, you can see and feel it: the evidence of love.
*jeng.. jeng... JENG*
7 emotions you never knew until you're a parent.
Once you've become a mother, you will feel the following 'new (undiscovered until now)' emotions:
1. When your child cries nonstop in the first week or two, you will feel helpless and will begin crying along with it.
2. When you partner shouts or 'pats' your newborn to make it stop crying, you feel a slice into your already delicate heart and will be compelled to 'protect' your child.
3. When you hold your child against your bosom (that's chest, for the rest of you modern peoples), you will feel that nothing wrong could ever and will ever happen to your child.
4. When you are able to calm your newborn down and make it stop crying by holding it or speaking softly to it, you will feel like you've won the Nobel prize.
5. When you are able to make your newborn stop crying by 'hitting' her puny little backside, the guilt you feel afterwards makes you feel willing to face the firing squad.
6. The first time you see your newborn smile at you, you'd be as excited as the day you bought your first car.
7. When your newborn grabs your finger and would not let go, you'd let it hold your finger for just one more second (and another, and another)... even if the building is on fire.
There's actually a whole lot more than just seven.. and these aren't exactly 'emotions' but to be fair, you seriously will not understand them until you've become a parent yourself. Seriously.
But.. who cares?
The point I'm driving home today is the evidence of that bond which exist between mother and child.
Love can hardly be called a Science. So many conclusions could come from the same initial point: You may marry him and live happily together forever with him, or You may divorce him within the next three years. You may cheat on him or be cheated on by him and still stick together as a couple "for the sake of the children". You may find out he is a closeted gay. You may tell him that you are a closeted lesbian or bisexual on your 5th wedding anniversary. You may even find him divorcing you to be with your mother (sick I know... but it happens).
So why then do experts insist on mothers breastfeeding their babies to 'strengthen that bond between mother and newborn' hours after she has just given birth?
No, it's not because they are sadistic maniacs.
It's because this bond, you can see and feel it: the evidence of love.
*jeng.. jeng... JENG*
7 emotions you never knew until you're a parent.
Once you've become a mother, you will feel the following 'new (undiscovered until now)' emotions:
1. When your child cries nonstop in the first week or two, you will feel helpless and will begin crying along with it.
2. When you partner shouts or 'pats' your newborn to make it stop crying, you feel a slice into your already delicate heart and will be compelled to 'protect' your child.
3. When you hold your child against your bosom (that's chest, for the rest of you modern peoples), you will feel that nothing wrong could ever and will ever happen to your child.
4. When you are able to calm your newborn down and make it stop crying by holding it or speaking softly to it, you will feel like you've won the Nobel prize.
5. When you are able to make your newborn stop crying by 'hitting' her puny little backside, the guilt you feel afterwards makes you feel willing to face the firing squad.
6. The first time you see your newborn smile at you, you'd be as excited as the day you bought your first car.
7. When your newborn grabs your finger and would not let go, you'd let it hold your finger for just one more second (and another, and another)... even if the building is on fire.
There's actually a whole lot more than just seven.. and these aren't exactly 'emotions' but to be fair, you seriously will not understand them until you've become a parent yourself. Seriously.
Jun 7, 2009
Some help from the Internet: DrGreene.com
The Internet being such a huge pot of useful and useless information, sometimes and surprisingly reveals relevant information that would actually help make your life easier. Before you go thinking that I've found the answer to life itself, no, I found the next best thing for new parents!
Drgreene.com is a website that focuses on the upbringing and handling of children from the prenatal stage to their teens.
I'm currently interested in the Newborn section but you are welcome to look through everywhere else for probable answers to questions, regarding children, that have been bugging you.
As an example, it is in this site where I found the differences between a normal pacifier and an orthodontist pacifier.
I also found out that a newborn's coughing is actually a dangerous sign that parents need to look out for. Gave me a scare because Eva had been coughing (at first I thought she was just vying for attention) or mimicking the cough sound ever since we gave her the pacifier.
And I have overcome my fear of the baby's soft spot (up there on the head, above the forehead, the pulsing region, yeah, that one)... let's just say that the baby will not suffer a concussion if she falls on her head even though the soft spots (yes, there are more than one. Actually there are six. You have to go to DrGreene.com) have not toughened up.
Now, excuse me while I go view videos on bathing babies.
Drgreene.com is a website that focuses on the upbringing and handling of children from the prenatal stage to their teens.
I'm currently interested in the Newborn section but you are welcome to look through everywhere else for probable answers to questions, regarding children, that have been bugging you.
As an example, it is in this site where I found the differences between a normal pacifier and an orthodontist pacifier.
I also found out that a newborn's coughing is actually a dangerous sign that parents need to look out for. Gave me a scare because Eva had been coughing (at first I thought she was just vying for attention) or mimicking the cough sound ever since we gave her the pacifier.
And I have overcome my fear of the baby's soft spot (up there on the head, above the forehead, the pulsing region, yeah, that one)... let's just say that the baby will not suffer a concussion if she falls on her head even though the soft spots (yes, there are more than one. Actually there are six. You have to go to DrGreene.com) have not toughened up.
Now, excuse me while I go view videos on bathing babies.
May 26, 2009
Noticing newborns: Patience
Newborns can really test one's patience. You can really know a person when you see them try to deal with an uncomfortable newborn. The concept behind this is that a newborn is not the type who cries for no reason. They aren't capable of doing that yet at this point in their lives.
Many new parents forget that.
They don't look like this all the time.
or this.
or this.
Nope, the reality is a whole lot scarier. And.. fortunately I don't have photos to prove that at the moment.. yet.
The older generation will do one out of two things only whenever a baby cries: give the baby milk or carry them and then shake them as if they want to give the baby head trauma. I swear. Seriously. They either do it or they tell you to do it.
During my one month crash course, I've picked up a few thing more things to add to the above to-do list. Here are a couple of hints I've picked up about a baby crying.
Once a baby has pooped, she's hungry. Doesn't matter if you just fed her an hour ago. It's as if their stomach empties out once they have pooped. If she cries after you've cleaned her, then she's hungry. Same goes with peeing, only in larger quantities. Hey, it's just milk and water, how long do you think it stays in the baby's tummy?
Sometimes they cry and scream and can't tell you what is wrong with them. They act as if they cry because they want to, which is really never the case. There is always a problem and while you're figuring it out, you just have to stay calm, remember that they cry for a reason, and have patience.
And don't ever scream, shout or scold your newborn.
You will immediately regret it because it will only scare them, which makes them cry more, after which the only remedy is to carry them, close to your body (closer than usual) until they stop shaking/jerking/sobbing... which takes about half an hour to an hour. Plus, it's really heartbreaking to see that.
Babies are never easy but many people can handle their newborns well, no reason to think that you shouldn't be part of that crowd.
Many new parents forget that.
They don't look like this all the time.
or this.
or this.
Nope, the reality is a whole lot scarier. And.. fortunately I don't have photos to prove that at the moment.. yet.
The older generation will do one out of two things only whenever a baby cries: give the baby milk or carry them and then shake them as if they want to give the baby head trauma. I swear. Seriously. They either do it or they tell you to do it.
During my one month crash course, I've picked up a few thing more things to add to the above to-do list. Here are a couple of hints I've picked up about a baby crying.
Once a baby has pooped, she's hungry. Doesn't matter if you just fed her an hour ago. It's as if their stomach empties out once they have pooped. If she cries after you've cleaned her, then she's hungry. Same goes with peeing, only in larger quantities. Hey, it's just milk and water, how long do you think it stays in the baby's tummy?
Sometimes they cry and scream and can't tell you what is wrong with them. They act as if they cry because they want to, which is really never the case. There is always a problem and while you're figuring it out, you just have to stay calm, remember that they cry for a reason, and have patience.
And don't ever scream, shout or scold your newborn.
You will immediately regret it because it will only scare them, which makes them cry more, after which the only remedy is to carry them, close to your body (closer than usual) until they stop shaking/jerking/sobbing... which takes about half an hour to an hour. Plus, it's really heartbreaking to see that.
Babies are never easy but many people can handle their newborns well, no reason to think that you shouldn't be part of that crowd.
May 19, 2009
3 weeks on...
Three weeks on and here is what I've picked up about managing a newborn. Word of caution: it's not as hard as it looks.
-What do I do when a newborn cries?-
When a baby cries, the first thing you should not do is panic. Then,
No. 1: Check to see if she has a wet napkin. If she is in diapers, check to see if she has pooped. Clean accordingly.
No. 2: Check the time to see if it is feeding time. Sometimes this doesn't work because babies feed on demand, so rather than a 3 oz feed once every 2 hrs, it's more like 1 oz in the first hr, 1.5 in the second then 2 hrs later he may want 3 oz. But every baby has a pattern; it's up to the mom to figure out what her baby's pattern is. Some milk powder may go to waste if you are bottle feeding.
No. 3: Check the soles of her feet to see if he is cold (if the soles are cold, he's probably cold), or check the back of her neck if he's sweating (which means you need to adjust his sleeping place because it's getting warm or maybe remove one blanket or two). Adjust accordingly.
No. 4: Wind/colic/burping issues. There are a few ways to manage this. You place her head on your shoulder for support, hold her bottom with one arm and pat her back gently until she burps.
Edit: I've also found another move that will help. After you pat her while she is upright and leaning against you or your shoulder, move her back to a position where she is lying down. You need not put her down, just ensure that she is in a sleeping position, for like 5 seconds. Then, move her back up the the burping position. The gas should come out almost immediately, and in great volumes.
If it is too far down and she is crying to the point of screaming then put some medicated oil (the kind which people used for rheumatism and joint pains) onto a palm, rub the palm together, then place the warmed up hand on her tummy. You may be able to see an immediate reaction or at least a reaction within a minute or two later if wind really is the problem. While you're at it, also place both warmed up hands on the feet of the baby. Massage if it doesn't bother the baby. It's a very comforting move.
No. 5: The surroundings are too loud for her. Is there another toddler screaming next door? Is your blundering-couch-potato-no-good-nephew watching the TV with the volume seriously too loud for him to not consider hearing aids in half a decade? Adjust accordingly.
No. 6: She wants someone to carry them or hold them close. There are a few reasons for this. One would be that they want to feel the security that a warm body provides them. Add a mother's scent and something to suckle on and she will be sleeping like a log in no time.
VVIN (Very very important note): Keep your fingernails short when managing a newborn.
-What do I do when a newborn cries?-
When a baby cries, the first thing you should not do is panic. Then,
No. 1: Check to see if she has a wet napkin. If she is in diapers, check to see if she has pooped. Clean accordingly.
No. 2: Check the time to see if it is feeding time. Sometimes this doesn't work because babies feed on demand, so rather than a 3 oz feed once every 2 hrs, it's more like 1 oz in the first hr, 1.5 in the second then 2 hrs later he may want 3 oz. But every baby has a pattern; it's up to the mom to figure out what her baby's pattern is. Some milk powder may go to waste if you are bottle feeding.
No. 3: Check the soles of her feet to see if he is cold (if the soles are cold, he's probably cold), or check the back of her neck if he's sweating (which means you need to adjust his sleeping place because it's getting warm or maybe remove one blanket or two). Adjust accordingly.
No. 4: Wind/colic/burping issues. There are a few ways to manage this. You place her head on your shoulder for support, hold her bottom with one arm and pat her back gently until she burps.
Edit: I've also found another move that will help. After you pat her while she is upright and leaning against you or your shoulder, move her back to a position where she is lying down. You need not put her down, just ensure that she is in a sleeping position, for like 5 seconds. Then, move her back up the the burping position. The gas should come out almost immediately, and in great volumes.
If it is too far down and she is crying to the point of screaming then put some medicated oil (the kind which people used for rheumatism and joint pains) onto a palm, rub the palm together, then place the warmed up hand on her tummy. You may be able to see an immediate reaction or at least a reaction within a minute or two later if wind really is the problem. While you're at it, also place both warmed up hands on the feet of the baby. Massage if it doesn't bother the baby. It's a very comforting move.
No. 5: The surroundings are too loud for her. Is there another toddler screaming next door? Is your blundering-couch-potato-no-good-nephew watching the TV with the volume seriously too loud for him to not consider hearing aids in half a decade? Adjust accordingly.
No. 6: She wants someone to carry them or hold them close. There are a few reasons for this. One would be that they want to feel the security that a warm body provides them. Add a mother's scent and something to suckle on and she will be sleeping like a log in no time.
VVIN (Very very important note): Keep your fingernails short when managing a newborn.
May 14, 2009
Noticing newborns
Just the other day I was thinking how much longer before I can sleep properly and indulge in chocolate ice cream once again, and now Eva is more than 2 weeks old. Time really flies, as my mother reminded me the other day: 18 years will speed by so quickly, you'll miss it if you blink. And I believe her.
When Eva came out she was so small and fragile despite being close to 3 kg. I haven't weighed myself ever since the delivery so I have no idea how much gained weight I've lost. But Eva is putting on the pounds, although slowly. Well, at least her face is growing. Her limbs are still so skinny. Her tummy alternating between bulging and flattened, depending on how much she poops in a day.
If you haven't realized, a newborn's arms can lift only to the top of its head. This means she can't touch her two hands together if she raises it above her head, whereas you and I can grab both our own elbows above our heads. Try it with a newborn. If you're like my husband, you'll have a blast out of it.
Speaking of which, you know how it is that babies have heads that are disproportionate to their bodies? When I was born, I used to have an 'alien' head that my grandmother tries endlessly to 'mould' back to human form every time she bathes me. My daughter shares the trait. Probably because I have my mother's pelvic bone structure. My mother in law, however, is not the moulding kind. And she doesn't let me touch my daughter's head much either.
The older generation has a fear of the newborn's soft spot called the fontanelle. It's the part above the forehead which sometimes sinks in (due to dehydration) and sometimes pulse (I've seen it but I don't know the explanation for it). I've read somewhere that if the fontanelle bulges out, it is a sign of meningitis. Anyways, it is the part of the baby's skull which has not fused together. This is because the human brain will continue to develop and mature outside of the womb. If the human brain were to fully develop inside the mother's womb, she won't be able to safely deliver the baby due to the size of the head.
The skull of a baby will slowly fuse together at points called sutures and while they're at it, the shape of the head can still change constantly. If your baby is a selective sleeper, meaning she only sleeps on one side of her head (either left or right or looking straight up) then that particular part will flatten out on the long run. You won't be able to see it because of the hair, but if you touch it you will feel the head structure plateau out at the spot where the baby sleeps on the most. So it's good to help your baby switch sleeping sides often.
In the meantime, I'll try to mould her head to a respectable shape, whenever I get the chance.
When Eva came out she was so small and fragile despite being close to 3 kg. I haven't weighed myself ever since the delivery so I have no idea how much gained weight I've lost. But Eva is putting on the pounds, although slowly. Well, at least her face is growing. Her limbs are still so skinny. Her tummy alternating between bulging and flattened, depending on how much she poops in a day.
If you haven't realized, a newborn's arms can lift only to the top of its head. This means she can't touch her two hands together if she raises it above her head, whereas you and I can grab both our own elbows above our heads. Try it with a newborn. If you're like my husband, you'll have a blast out of it.
Speaking of which, you know how it is that babies have heads that are disproportionate to their bodies? When I was born, I used to have an 'alien' head that my grandmother tries endlessly to 'mould' back to human form every time she bathes me. My daughter shares the trait. Probably because I have my mother's pelvic bone structure. My mother in law, however, is not the moulding kind. And she doesn't let me touch my daughter's head much either.
The older generation has a fear of the newborn's soft spot called the fontanelle. It's the part above the forehead which sometimes sinks in (due to dehydration) and sometimes pulse (I've seen it but I don't know the explanation for it). I've read somewhere that if the fontanelle bulges out, it is a sign of meningitis. Anyways, it is the part of the baby's skull which has not fused together. This is because the human brain will continue to develop and mature outside of the womb. If the human brain were to fully develop inside the mother's womb, she won't be able to safely deliver the baby due to the size of the head.
The skull of a baby will slowly fuse together at points called sutures and while they're at it, the shape of the head can still change constantly. If your baby is a selective sleeper, meaning she only sleeps on one side of her head (either left or right or looking straight up) then that particular part will flatten out on the long run. You won't be able to see it because of the hair, but if you touch it you will feel the head structure plateau out at the spot where the baby sleeps on the most. So it's good to help your baby switch sleeping sides often.
In the meantime, I'll try to mould her head to a respectable shape, whenever I get the chance.
May 12, 2009
The newborn list
Apart from beliefs about confinement, there are also plenty of beliefs or superstitions regarding newborns. Here are some that might raise an eyebrow or two (partially because some of them, sometimes, do hold some water) :
1 You should never say anything to a newborn's face otherwise, she or he will do the opposite. e.g. "Wow, you really take a lot of milk don't you?" Next day, she will not be taking milk. "Wow, you listen to dad a lot don't you?" Next day, he listens to everyone but the dad.
2 You should not touch the soles of the baby's feet or else it will be reluctant to take its first steps, or it will start walking comparatively late.
3 You should not leave the baby's tummy exposed to the air or she will get gas in her tummy which will lead to constant crying due to discomfort. Hence, when you are done bathing the baby, you should ensure that the windows and doors to the room you dress the baby in is closed; switch off the fan and air conditioning while you're at it. Or so they say.
4 You should not let the baby drink cold to lukewarm milk; adds to the stomach 'wind' problem.
5 Babies should not be left crying too much, again due to the wind problem. Since the baby has to cry upon childbirth to ensure its lungs open up, it may have a problem getting rid of the wind during its first week. That would explain why some babies need to burp a lot or poop a lot in the first week.
New parents, do not be alarmed, all you need is some medicated oil. Get the kind that is useful for treating joint pains. Put two drops on your palm, rub them together until you feel a little heat between your two rubbing hands, then carefully place your palm on your baby's tummy (be careful of the umbilical cord) for a few seconds or until the baby has calmed down. You can do the same for the soles of the feet. The effect is almost immediate if the problem is gas.
This has been brought to you by sleepless nights, a sister with two kids she took care of by herself and too much time in my hands. Thank you.
1 You should never say anything to a newborn's face otherwise, she or he will do the opposite. e.g. "Wow, you really take a lot of milk don't you?" Next day, she will not be taking milk. "Wow, you listen to dad a lot don't you?" Next day, he listens to everyone but the dad.
2 You should not touch the soles of the baby's feet or else it will be reluctant to take its first steps, or it will start walking comparatively late.
3 You should not leave the baby's tummy exposed to the air or she will get gas in her tummy which will lead to constant crying due to discomfort. Hence, when you are done bathing the baby, you should ensure that the windows and doors to the room you dress the baby in is closed; switch off the fan and air conditioning while you're at it. Or so they say.
4 You should not let the baby drink cold to lukewarm milk; adds to the stomach 'wind' problem.
5 Babies should not be left crying too much, again due to the wind problem. Since the baby has to cry upon childbirth to ensure its lungs open up, it may have a problem getting rid of the wind during its first week. That would explain why some babies need to burp a lot or poop a lot in the first week.
New parents, do not be alarmed, all you need is some medicated oil. Get the kind that is useful for treating joint pains. Put two drops on your palm, rub them together until you feel a little heat between your two rubbing hands, then carefully place your palm on your baby's tummy (be careful of the umbilical cord) for a few seconds or until the baby has calmed down. You can do the same for the soles of the feet. The effect is almost immediate if the problem is gas.
This has been brought to you by sleepless nights, a sister with two kids she took care of by herself and too much time in my hands. Thank you.
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