DO IT BEFORE 3

A friend taught me a Chinese saying: A child will learn all he needs to learn before 3.

This means that after he is 3 it will be hard to teach him to act otherwise.

This also means that it would be best to have the child weaned, toilet trained, well-mannered, helpful and independent before they are 3.

"Zat iz imposi-bleh, madame! I vil not doo it!", says wet blanket Schmitz.

For those who are not parents yet, 3-year-old toddlers can manage sentences, take solid foods and even fast food (if you let them), control their bladder (except at night), and recognize people and places.

For those who are parents to children below 3 years of age, you still have time. For those with children older than 3 years, you can still try, it will just be a bit harder.

On a side note, a child has the fastest brain and skills development before the age of 10. After that, the learning rate slowly diminishes (and stops completely in some adults) towards adulthood.

So what can you teach your baby by the time they are 3?
1 Tell you when they need to use the toilet.
2 Say their full name, your full name and your partner’s full name.
3 Tell you they are hungry or that they have a tummy ache.
4 Stop wearing diapers
5 Have proper manners at the table like no more drumming with chopsticks and dropping utensils all over the floor.
6 To stop screaming when told. Tantrums do not count.
7 To have proper sleep time. As opposed to waking up and asking to read in the middle of the night.
8 Climb stairs on their own.
9 To not fear water when they bathe.
10 Know what to do, how to do it and when to do it. Teaching them to always wash their hands after using the toilet and to brush their teeth before sleeping is possible at this time.

Every child is different and so you need not rush and ‘fix’ your child if he hasn’t been able to do all the things listed above. However, the list will be able to give you an idea or gauge how far your child has gone and can go in embracing toddlerhood.

Note: This list is compiled from what can be observed by those, with children below the age of 3, around me. Bear in mind, the mothers who can make their kids do all this are very patient. They also started early on in their children’s life and they do not believe that “it is too early to teach them this or that” or “she’s too young, wait till she’s older.”

Start it before the child reaches the age or time when they start to notice and it will come naturally to them.

It also helps that you act it out for them to see.

Now, excuse me while I have a little talk with wet blanket Schmitz.

Leave (Pergi) by Aizat

This is the song Pergi (I Go) that can be found off the soundtrack of Talentime (2009) by Yasmin Ahmad. It is performed by Aizat and composed and written by Pete Teo, the powerhouse behind the 15Malaysia project.



Below is the song lyric to the song and a translation that I hope will do justice to the hauntingly beautiful melody of Pergi.

Pergi
Sayu terpisah
hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah
berhembus angin rindu
begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu

hujan lebat mencurah kini

bagaikan tiada henti

kaulah laguku
kau irama terindah
tak lagi kudengari

kau pergi.. pergi..

sepi tanpa kata
terdiam dan kaku tak daya kau kulupa
apa pun kata mereka
biarkan kenangan berbunga di ranting usia

--

Leave
sad and separated
a beautiful story is now history
exhaling the wind of longingness
so fresh the scent of your love

heavy rains now pour

as though it knows no end

you are my song
that sweet melody i know
that i no longer hear

you leave.. left..

in silence, without words,
quiet and stiff, i cannot forget you
no matter what they say
let the memories grow on the branches of age
--

Note: I think that it is better translated as Leave instead of Go and since it is my blog and my translation I think it is okay to leave it as that.

HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED SINCE YOU'VE WELCOMED YOUR FIRST BABY

My daughter is 6 months old today! This also means that it’s been six months since they’ve cut me open and made me a mom.

Wow, how’s that for putting things into perspective. And now… for more putting things into more perspectives:

How things have changed since welcoming your first child into your life.

1 You talk about the baby all the time. All the time.
Has he eaten?
Did you go get her diapers that were on sale today?
I think we need to pay the sitter already. Or did we pay her yesterday?

Conversations with your partner contains ‘baby’, name of baby and everything related to the baby.

That and tired, sleepy and hungry.

Can you get the baby? I need forty winks.

Thirty and I’ll take it.

Deal.

2 You feel like you have not slept in eons.
Actually it’s true.

Ever since Eva was born I doubt I’ve had a full 8 hours of sleep in one shot. I have to wake up some time in between.

Last Friday was the first day I had slept without my daughter by my side, she was staying the night at the sitters where we had a birthday for one of the kids. She had already fallen asleep and since we were going to drop her off anyways the next day, we thought we’d just let her sleep it out until the next morning. Well, that night I woke up at least 2 times even though I knew she was not sleeping next to me and therefore would not be crying for milk.

3 Weight loss for the mama
You’ve either lost most of your weight, or you’re thinking of starting to lose weight.

I’ve lost inches but not any of the kilos. Can’t bear to look at any weights for the meantime but I’m getting there. I think.

Six months is a long time. But I doubt that I would put that much effort if it wasn’t for because I’ve put on the pounds due to the pregnancy. I think at this rate, I can go thinner than my weight before I got pregnant.

I wish lar.

4 Lagging behind at work for the mama and the papa
Well, what do you suppose will happen?
You’re not getting enough sleep.
The effects of the anaesthesia is still lingering in your system (old wives’ tale I know but there are effects to your memory and speech patterns).
You’re not as articulate as before.
You get slower.
You are slower.
And most of all, you want to spend every possible moment with your new child. Even if it means getting only 6 hours of sleep every night, with interruptions in between.

5 You can’t wait for her to grow up and called your mummy and daddy.
There’s got to be one good thing out of all of this. And when I hear my daughter call me mummy, that would be it.

Top that, MJ!

Astro C.G.M. Finale Lee Soo Wei and New fans from Brunei (pictures!)

Well, lookie what we've got here.

These were taken on the night of the Astro Classic Golden Melody Singing Competition 2009 finale when Julie 周蕊丽 took the 1st prize for the competition. The audience consisted of Malaysians from all over the country including those from Penang (you guys rock!) Sabah and even Sarawak!

In the audience there were also a group of ladies from Brunei. They initially went as fans of the hosts: Yan Yan and sister (I'm sorry I am not good with Chinese so I can't remember the name, a thousand apologies) and left as new fans of Soo Wei (I heard from someone who was there lar).

Since they came from another country, they got to get on stage to take photos with the contestants! Picture pile coming up! They even brought their own banner!

In this shot you see from left and in bling bling attire: 斯伟 (Soo Wei in red),
the 2nd runner up: 李惠芳 in gold and 1st prize winner 周蕊丽 in blue, as well as fans from Brunei.

斯伟 (Soo Wei) and Bruneian fans.

Ladies, if you are reading this and seeing your lovely faces on the pictures here and you want copies of the photos, I can get email it to you. Just drop me your email in the comments section (it won't come out if you do not want it out, approval is required from the writer before the comments can be published).

It's the least I could do for your flocking around 李斯伟 and giving him special treatment (as if he took the gold home lol). I guess that's what he meant when he said that he has no regrets so long as he has the support of his fans.

If 陈佛 was in the shot, it would have been perfect.
I've said too much. And I don't care.

5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW WHILE DRIVING

I hate driving behind people with the P (probation) sign stuck the rear window of their cars. I am also afraid of them. They swerve, turn, brake and accelerate without reason and at the worst possible time they can. Although it is said that practice makes perfect, the longer these people stay on the road, more people will get hurt, or at the very least, agitated.

Hence, the idea for this list of five things drivers need to know while driving:

1 Lights are guides, not commandments.

I’ve had several friends who almost got into accidents because “the lights on the car in front of mine was not working.”

What?

“If I don’t get to see the brake lights on, how will I know that they are braking?”

Er, one, the car gets bigger and bigger and a scary rate because you are still moving and they are slowing down. Two, you should keep a safe distance from the car in front of you, not kiss the rear end whenever you can (or like). Three, telling the insurance agent that you banged the car in front of you because his lights are out may not be a good idea.

The same goes for traffic lights. Do not take them for granted and think that they are working all the time. “Ooh, it’s green, I’ll accelerate”, say the driver on the north road and on the east road as they have green lights on their lanes.

Use your eyes on the roads at ALL times.

2 The blind spot

“The car appeared out of nowhere.”

Yes, a 2-tonne car magically appeared out of nowhere behind you and so it is not your fault if you rammed into it.

Perhaps it is a good time to introduce to you the blind spot. cue music *jeng jeng jenggggg…*

Some people don’t believe in it. “Where got such a thing? I think it’s a lousy excuse for bad driving.”

Partly true, and the other part would be the bad adjustments of the rear view mirror and the side mirrors of your car.

We depend on reflections on our rear view mirrors and side mirrors on our cars to see the areas behind us. So it is crucial that we (can) see all. Badly adjusted mirrors will produce a blind spot, an area that is not within the scope of our vision.

If you only check your mirrors once, then make your move quickly and sharply, an accident may occur.

It is always better to check your mirrors once, wait a second or two, check again, then slowly move into that lane. That way if there is a car there and you did not see it before you made your move, you still have time to slow down your lane change or move back into your lane to get out of the way.

3 Turning corners

Please people. Please.

Check to see if there are cars coming from the right when you want to turn left in that intersection. If you’re not from Malaysia, you’ll be surprised to know that many people here just turn into the lane without stopping at intersections.

We have road signs that say STOP at intersections but apparently these people can’t read. Nor do they understand that it takes longer for a car going straight to brake than a car that is taking a turn.

Slow down to see if there are cars going in the direction of your lane, then only make your turn. You should do it more if it is a quiet intersection. Don’t take this for granted. If you can’t do this, please don’t drive.

Note: there is a town here where everyone drives like that. I can’t remember where it is so I’m not naming names. Don’t wanna name the wrong town.

4 Keep your hands and focus on the wheel

Mini list: 5 don’ts while driving.

Do not text.
You are down one hand and two eyes and half of your concentration on the road.

Do not talk on the phone.
I don’t think many people get it. When you drive, you should stay focus. Talking on the phone while holding it, with a hands-free kit or even on Bluetooth keeps you off focus. You may not react to a situation on the roads in time if you’re trying to remember where you keep your bank statements because your wife prefer to call and ask you than ask you before bed last night.

Do not eat a whole meal.
Besides the loss of concentration, you will dirty the car with crumbs and sauce.

Do not apply makeup.
Women are not built for driving 2-tonne things. Women are not built for driving even. Well, some do a really good job at it but generally, no, women are not built for driving. Ever seen one try to parallel park? And women are NOT built for driving while applying their makeup on. Period.

Do not rummage around for small items.
Prepare the small change for your tolls before you set off for work. Place your prepaid cards at an easily reachable place. In fact, place everything you may need at a reachable place so you need not go under the dashboard at 70 miles per hour.

5 Indicate

No, do not indicate two seconds before you arrive at your turn. Too late.

No, do not indicate two or three turns before your turn. Too soon.

Remember to switch of your indicator after you’ve made your turn.

Give way when someone indicate. This way you will encourage more people to use their indicators.

Lastly, always check to see that your indicator lights are working.
---

You can choose to read this list then ignore it, or you can choose to practise it to make for safer roads. Don’t worry. These instructions will not self destruct in n seconds should you choose to not accept it.

Just be safe on the road. That’s all I’m asking.

THE IMPORTANCE OF RANKINGS...?

Was minding my own business, reading the paper when I chanced upon:

The Star Online > Focus

Sunday October 11, 2009

HARD WORK PAYS DIVIDEND FOR UM

UNIVERSITI Malaya (UM), once a top university in Asia and recognised as a premier educational institution in this part of the world, has successfully made it to the top 200 universities in the Times Higher Education magazine – QS World University Ranking 2009.

Moving from 230 last year to 180 means that hard work was the order of the day and all those who were associated with instituting those needful changes deserve commendation for their unwavering input in wanting to bring back UM’s glorious past when it was once ranked 89 in 2004.

While there is reason for celebration, I hope UM would continue to strive to be among the top 100 universities in the world. UM’s best 2004 achievement was no flash in the pan and should serve as a motivation to bring it to another level of excellence.

This calls for undivided attention, commitment and selfless devotion among its staff, administrators, academics, and the senate, among others, who must collectively ensure no stone is unturned to propel UM further in terms of excellence, eminence, and distinction in providing quality education at both graduate and post-graduate level.

I am glad UM has placed great importance in wanting quality research and development done in its premises and that more facilities are being built or provided for these purposes.

On another note, I call upon UM to set the pace, momentum, and velocity for education quality and excellence as its distinguished and illustrious past indicate it has the means and capacities to propel itself to greater heights.

Many of our past and present leaders are alumni of the university and UM can stand tall that it has contributed significantly by providing leaders to serve the nation unreservedly.

Malaysia is blessed with many natural resources, and technology and other sciences, which are cornerstones of future growth and prosperity that are highly emphasised by the Government. It would be a real failure to the country if UM, together with other universities, do not spearhead both research and development of new things.

Be reminded that educational excellence can only be achieved through hard work. This is paramount if we want our institutions of higher learning to be noted as excellent places of learning and for research and development.

Sadly, four of our premier public universities, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia, Universiti Sains Malaysia, Universiti Putra Malaysia and Universiti Utara Malaysia did not fare well in the ranking.

In this respect, USM, which was awarded Apex university status, is a real disappointment and certainly did not live up to its status.

DR TAN ENG BEE,
Kajang, Selangor.

---
I agree with him on most accounts but I did not like the way he ended his letter. Apparently, a lecturer from USM also shared my lack of enthusiasm with his conclusion.

The Star Online > Focus

Monday October 12, 2009

OUR VARSITIES GOOD, NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS SAY

I READ with disbelief “Hard work pays dividend for UM” (The Star, Oct 11), where the writer says that “USM … is a real disappointment and certainly did not live up to its (Apex) status.”

I am a lecturer at USM’s School of Education and I guess the time has come for us to follow USM’s motto - “We Lead” - and start educating the Malaysian public about The Times Higher Education Ranking, or any other ranking for that matter, and help people to realise what an absurd ranking it is.

I quote Higher Education Minister Datuk Seri Mohamed Khaled Nordin at the International Exposition of Research and Invention of Institutions of Higher Learning 2009 awards ceremony at the Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre: “We should not relate Apex too much with the THE-QS rankings. Apex isn’t meant solely for ranking purposes and we expect it to show results after 2010.”

Mohamed Khaled added that although the ministry was pleased that Universiti Malaya (UM) had improved 50 spots from last year to finish at 180, it was too soon to have another Apex university.

A quote by Times: “We do not pretend to be able to capture all of the intangible nuances of what it is that makes a university so special, and we accept that there are some criticisms of our methodology.

“These rankings are meant to be the starting point for discussions about institutions’ places in the rapidly globalising world – and how that is measured and benchmarked – not the end point. We encourage that discussion.”

At the same time, we should perhaps start getting the public involved in the various objectives of the Higher Education Ministry’s targets for our institutions of higher education.

We, at USM, decided some time ago that it is irrelevant for us to be caught up in the mythology, that is, the THESR (or any other rankings for that matter), and to instead focus on how we might serve the people of Malaysia and the world in a way that will not just stimulate the intellectual and moral growth of our people, but to also serve the less fortunate and less able.

Whether we are number 1 or number 1,000 on the superfluous and biased rankings of the THESR, we do not care.

Google, “Meaning of the THESR” or “Pros and Cons of the THESR” and you will find that 95% of the world have similar comments about the THESR, and no defence by the top 50 universities.

One would assume that most people of the world will not believe or should laugh at a survey that has a response rate of about 1%, from the 190,000 survey forms and emails issued.

UM, and USM, and all the other Malaysian universities that did or did not “go down in rankings”, are great in their own right and do not need rankings to reinforce this.

Dr THEVANANTHAN NITHYANANTHAM,
Penang.

---

Well said. Two days later, this happened.

The Star Online > Focus

Wednesday October 14, 2009

RANKINGS PROCESS IS PART OF FEEDBACK

I REFER to “Our varsities good, no matter what others say” (The Star, Oct 12). The powers-that-be at local public universities should not get tetchy and be embroiled emotionally following the new release of THE -QS rankings. The public can air their comments based on the rankings.

Of course, rankings won’t explain the true quality of any university. But at the end of the day, people around the globe, or employers especially, would look highly at candidates from Harvard, Cambridge, Yale, MIT, Oxford, Stanford, Chicago or Imperial College of London.

Quality is one thing but perception is another. It is about the yardstick and survey. No party in the world can claim that its survey is 100% accurate. But the yardstick or survey of anything gives some clues and direction.

It is similar to what the police are doing in their investigation, which is based on clues, evidence, signs, etc. They give them direction which, hopefully, lead them to prosecute.

If local universities feel they don’t need the rankings and the rankings are biased, then they should not respond to THE-QS survey. They should also ask for the Education Ministry to exclude them from the APEX rankings.

Rankings should not make us bitter and hurt. The rankings process is part of feedback. It is about self-examination.

Even now, government agencies undergo star rating process to rate which agencies have what it takes to be the best. Given the choice, one would prefer to put up at the five-star hotel to the lesser one.

Life is all about ratings and rankings. We cannot say we do not care about the rankings. We must care for the rankings and we must care for the quality of our service.

Even at university, you have lecturers of various rankings: lecturers, senior lecturers, associate professors, professors, vice-chancellors, etc.

So if you really care for the rankings in your career, why can’t be you care for the rankings of the university that you work for? We must take serious care of the quality of our degree courses. We must take care of the standard and quality of our research, even the quality of lecturers.

Nowadays, it is all about the best, top rated quality, second to none. If we don’t care about the quality and the mechanisms to measure quality, then our products and services are dead and have no market value.

Universities cannot claim to be great in their own right because they need to respond to the industries and customers, not to mention the academic world. Universities cannot work in solo.

Let’s face the world. If any university doesn’t care about rankings, I wonder how they select students to do degree courses at their university.

MAT,

Kuala Lumpur.

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On the same day, this also came in.

The Star Online > Focus

Wednesday October 14, 2009

QUALITY OF GRADS MATTERS MORE

I HAVE been reading opinions related to the ranking of universities in The Times Higher Education Ranking. Comparisons were made by Dr Tan Eng Bee of Kajang and Dr Thevananthan of Penang between the ranked UM and the other non-ranking universities, particularly USM, an apex university which was mentioned in a not-so-good light by one of the writers.

In my humble opinion, universities are there as a higher learning institution where intellectuals meet, discuss and cooperate to develop new technologies and uncover new knowledge.Universities are not there to merely be ranked.

Besides, in any form of ranking, people are usually interested in the top 10, not the top 200.

And might I add that the ranking of 89 for UM in 2004 was made in error as Chinese and Indian students were mistaken as “foreign” students rather than local students.

The mistake was rectified in 2005 when the ranking for UM fell to 169 which, if I may so boldly point out, is still higher than the current placement of 180th.

So, rather than focus on how high or low our universities rank in the world, we should focus more on bettering our institutions of tertiary education for the good of all.

Let’s produce graduates who can communicate well in the working world; responsible graduates who are innovative, has initiative and with problem-solving skills. If they can throw in better people skill, it would be a bonus.

In short, let’s create graduates who can do their universities proud, no matter which university they came from.

BIG PICTURE,

Cheras.

---
With drama like this, who needs TV?

On a more serious note, read what another lecturer has to say. Plus, a little note from the Vice-Chancellor of USM, Dzulkifli Abdul Razak regarding this issue.

Now back to my coffee.